Richmond Hash, Trail 687 – JK’s Ten Year Anniversary and Turkey Day Spectacular – November 26, 2006

Trail: 687
Location: Jerry’s Kid’s Fashion Palace sans Calvin Klein rug (37° 33' 11"N, 77° 28' 17"W)
Hares: Jerry’s Kid
Weather: Globally Warm
Shiggy Factor: 0
Trail Length: 1 block or less
Beverage Stops: 1.1 (.1 for the Wii stop)
Wankers: ~16
Virgins: 0
On After: Jerry’s Kid’s Fashion Palace sans Calvin Klein rug
Cashmere Sweaters: 1
Turkeys (not Jive): 1
Turkeys (Jive): 1


All right kids. I’m beat and the corporate world has sucked the life out of me. I am nothing more than a lifeless husk of a man/woman. You didn’t know about my girly parts did you? Why do you think I’m always wearing sunglasses? And don’t say its because I’m photophobic…which I am.

I asked JK to help with this write-up but he hasn’t. So he can’t now. Maybe later “The Kid” (as I like to call him) will follow through and deliver on his list of top 10 most memorable hash moments. As I was pretty loopy during this part I don’t remember a single one.

Okie Dokie. Let me see if I can remember who was there. Well, me, Sir Gammy McProlapse, Lady Don’t Touch My Monkey, Duke Gus Gus Duck, Lord Jerry’s Kid, Squire R.U.D.Y., Princess Banana Hammock (or Princess Hucklebery Ho?), Field Marshall B.A.S.H., Head Gaoler Comatoes and her secret lover/rapscallion/Lady in Wating Tennis AnyCum, Marchoiness A.A.R.P., Waifish Orphan Phantom Pooftah, King Quack Whacker, Arch-Bishop I-Feel Tower, Serving Wench Ripped VanTinkle, Peasant Boy It’s Twue It’s Twue and of course, the always lovely and talented, Queen Spanking on a Centerfold. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the class of 2006. SPRING BREAK RULES!!!! If I forgot you, you don’t graduate and also…PISS OFF.

Notable events on this trail:
    1. I* w*s f*cking s*ort whi*h *as *ucking gre*at.
JK has a big ass TV that made everyone in the room sterile from massive radiation emissions.
    2. The wine and cheese stop really added some much needed sophistication to our normal beverage stops. Also, the wine really sucked but I still tried to drink more than my share…which I accomplished so at least I had that going for me.
    3. We invaded It’s Twue’s friends house and played his Wii (yes, exactly what your disgusting mind is thinking). Comatoes takes out her angst against digital bowling spectators.
    4. Don’t Touch My Monkey mysteriously disappears from circle, alien abduction suspected.
    5. Hashers say what they are thankful for and someone sheds a tears (an Indian perhaps? a Jew?)
    6. JK and Spanky go out of their way to provide grub for hungry/needy/horny hashers. It takes 20 pounds of moist, succulent turkey to satisfy me. Thanks.
    7. Princess passes out and Comatoes gives her a lap dance…on her face
    8. JK Celebrates 10th year and decides once and for all not to get a life!